Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as
in Christ God forgave you. Ephesians 4:32
“I forgive you…”
I typed the words and paused. As I reflected on the events that led up to
the fresh wound in my heart, tears rolled down my face – drops of betrayal and
hurt fell onto my hands and phone.
I wanted to hold on to them.
Store them away for future use. Tuck
them in my wallet as a reminder.
But, I couldn’t.
Instead, I wiped them away and sent the message.
“Forgiven…” I whispered, as a reminder to myself of the debt
I just cancelled.
I can’t think of a more difficult command than the one that
Jesus gave when he said “forgive”. It’s
the only command that guarantees a negative comes before it. Forgiveness means a hurt or offense has taken
place, and that is the last time in our lives when we want to let our light
shine.
In fact, Jesus’ own
disciples had difficulty understanding the depth of this command. When Peter went to Jesus, he expected a
legalistic response to forgiveness.
Then Peter came to him and asked, “Lord, how often should I forgive
someone who sins against me?
Seven times?” “No, not seven times,” Jesus replied, “but seventy times
seven!” –Matthew 18:21,22
Jesus’ response was not to say we should keep a tally, and after
490 offenses, do as you please. His
response meant that forgiveness is to be extended an unlimited amount of times.
Rather than relying on rules, his command calls us to reflect the character of
God – which is immeasurable. We are
never to come to a point of refusing to extend forgiveness. EVER.
Yet, there are a few simple responses that get in the way of
us doing this….
They will never learn if I don’t make them pay.
It’s interesting how the giant wagging finger comes out when
others do wrong. We feel the need to admonish
them for their wrongdoing. We measure
their debt against our “righteousness” and count them unworthy.
But don’t you remember where you were when Jesus found
you? Need we count the amount of times
you’ve ignored God? Disobeyed God? Sinned?
The scripture reminds us that “while we were yet sinners, Christ died
for us” (Romans 5:8). You were pretty
offensive and will continue to be as long as you’re here on earth! Yet, God forgave you. And since His justice was sufficient for our
transgressions, it is no less adequate for the harms we face.
Forgiveness feels so….weak!
It’s ingrained in our culture to stick up for
ourselves. It seems empowering and
honorable to take matters into your own hands and release vengeance on another
who has done harm. So, when someone
tells us to forgive unconditionally, it sounds very contrary to the strength we
are used to expressing. But, there is
nothing simple, easy, or weak about forgiveness. To yield to forgiveness rather
than being dominated by anger or resentment is not less powerful, in fact it is
more! Proverbs 19:11 says that a sensible
person, or one with wisdom, shows patience and “they earn respect by
overlooking wrongs.” Sitting in the seat
of forgiveness sounds like a more honorable one to me.
So, who is going to take care of the offense? The same one that took care of yours.
“Leave that to
the righteous anger of God. For the Scriptures say, "I will take revenge;
I will pay them back," says the LORD. – Romans 12:19
Ok, but I can’t forget.
So, even when we admit that forgiveness is the right
response, we add conditions. We want to reserve
the right to bring up or use the offense against the person when desired. That’s not an option when we truly forgive.
When we forgive, we are saying “I am giving up the right to use
this hurt as a weapon against you, now or in the future”.
That comes with no strings attached.
“Forgiven….”
As I whispered those words, a thousand “whys” entered my
mind. Even when we make the choice to
forgive, it’s not always easy. Human
nature wants wounds to linger. So, to my
unforgiving nature I began to answer the “whys” and I wrote:
I’m forgiving today
because….
I’m viewing this
mistake through my own broken glasses. I’m
not perfect.
It takes more strength
to lay down my sword, than to wield it in anger. It’s not my fight.
Unforgiveness would
mean me drinking poison, but expecting the one who offended me to die. There’s a high cost to unforgiveness that I’m
not willing to pay.
I didn’t deserve
forgiveness, and God gave it to me anyway. Time to pay it forward.
And, as I wrote down those words, I felt a release; not only
for the one who hurt me, but for me!
That’s what forgiveness does.
Forgiveness FREES us.
Do you want to be free?
Let’s pray: Father, Your Word tells us that if we forgive
those who have sinned against us, then You will forgive us. But, if we refuse to forgive others, You will
not forgive us of our sins. We want Your
forgiveness. So today, we choose to
forgive. We declare that we will be patient with people and forgive wholeheartedly. Where there is hurt, heal our emotions that
have been wounded and teach us how to love unconditionally. We know that there are moments in the past
where we have missed the mark on this and been vengeful, bitter, and
unforgiving. Please help us. Forgive us for every evil thought and moment where
we have sought revenge against people who have offended us. Forgive us for the moments of anger or hurt
where we have not reflected Your character and walked in love. Forgive us for
gossiping, lying and for rehearsing in our minds what was said or done to
us. If there are people we have not
released, show us and help us to forgive.
We thank You for the power and freedom we have through Your
commandments. In Jesus name. Amen.
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