“Make the path for your feet level, so that all your ways
may be established” (Proverbs 4:26)
Several days ago I
was backing out of my garage and messed up big time. I had parked my road bike next to my car…..too
close apparently….and when I went to back out, well……it twisted and the wheel
sort of came with me.
Cue heart attack here!
I jumped out my car
and fortunately the bike seemed solidly intact, not a scratch.
Fast-forward to
yesterday. I jumped on my bike to go for
a ride and immediately I knew there was something wrong. No sixth sense or special insight needed, I
had the handlebars pointed straight but I was going in circles.
I tried to fix the problem
while riding, but no luck: my loopty-loop continued. A curious look from a little girl walking by
finally caused me to stop and get off to inspect the bike. During my bike’s
encounter with my car, the handlebars had been twisted out of alignment with
the wheel. I ride bikes, I don’t fix
them, and so I carried it into the garage until I could get it fixed.
As I walked into my
garage I realized that my bike isn’t the only thing a little out of alignment
lately. Have you ever driven a car that
needed an alignment? The variance seems
slight at first but if you continue to let the car go in that direction,
eventually it will pull you completely off track.
Well, in the course
of all my recent circumstances I have felt a chasm building between me and my
family. Life has been extremly bumpy for
me lately, and in the process I have allowed a distorted sense of self-reliance
to pull me away from the ones I love the most.
I’m being really
transparent here because God gives us very clear instruction on what to do in
these circumstances. In Matthew the Word
instructs us that if at any moment in the process of an offering to God we
remember a conflict or quarrel with our brothers/sister we are to leave our
offering and go “be reconciled with them; then come [back] and offer your gift”
(Matthew 5:23-24).
Each day on this
Lenten Journey I have come before God with a heart of sacrifice. Today, I couldn’t go another step on this without
getting back in alignment. Most of us
think that making amends has to follow a contentious moment where you have
actively wronged someone, but I beg to differ. Sometimes you inflict wounds on others and the
only person that is aware of it is you. And since you know, it will continue to
pull you off the course until you make it right.
James 5:16 says for
us to “confess our sins”. Another
commentary translates it as “confess your fails”. As I reflected on this I realized there were
moments where God could’ve used my situation to develop or minister to individuals
in my family in certain ways. I robbed
them of that opportunity. That’s a fail. And that transgression, is a debt I cannot
ignore.
So before I make
another offering to God, I want to turn to my family and ask for their
forgiveness. Why here? Why this way?
Because when your give light to a wrong it loses its power. And when it
comes to pride/over self-reliance it is a flaw that can only be rooted out by
humility. So it is with a fully naked
and repentant heart that I ask my family:
Will you forgive me?
Forgive me for not
being strong enough to be vulnerable.
Forgive me for letting
walls come up where there should have been bridges.
Forgive me for not
having the courage to ask for your prayers when I needed them the most.
Forgive me for not
letting you know I needed you when I did?
Forgive me for not
allowing you to love me and stand by me.
I’m so tired of going
in circles.
To all my family
reading this, I love you so dearly. I
need you….I need “us” to get back on track.
Today I encourage you
to search your hearts. We carry so many
hidden weights in our lives unforgiveness,
bitterness, strife, gossip, judgment. We
walk around with this entitled sense of woundedness and are so quick to stack
up debts against people. But who gave us
the right? We. who have been freed from
an unpayable debt by the very blood of Jesus. Nobody owes you as much as you
owed Him.
So, search your heart
today and be bold enough to make amends.
God wants to heal. God wants to
restore. And you’ll find that the place
that was in the greatest need of His touch was inside of you.
Let’s pray: Dear God, we want to thank You
for Your son Jesus; his life, sacrifice, and resurrection. We know that it was through his blood that we
experienced the remission of sins. Lord,
You forgave us when we had an impossible debt of sin. We did not deserve it, yet You gave it to us. Help
us to be reminded of all that You have done and allow us to extend that same
grace unto others. When we feel wronged,
Lord help us to forgive. When we have wronged others, let us take responsibility
for our transgression and ask for forgiveness.
Let there be no quarreling or foolish strife among us. Help us to walk in love and light. In Jesus name, Amen.
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